'Entanglement' is one of the most important — and most misunderstood — concepts in Family Constellations work.
The Basic Definition
A systemic entanglement occurs when a later-born family member unconsciously identifies with, and takes on the fate, feelings or unfinished business of, an earlier family member — often someone excluded, forgotten, or whose story was never fully honored.
Common Causes of Entanglement
Someone in the family died young, especially tragically or before their time. A family member was excluded — through divorce, disownment, adoption, or being 'written out' of the family story. A miscarriage or early loss was never grieved or spoken about. An injustice occurred that was never acknowledged or resolved.
How Entanglement Shows Up
A person might unconsciously take on the same illness, the same relationship failure, or the same early death 'destiny' as the person they're entangled with — despite having no conscious memory or knowledge of that person's story.
How Resolution Works
In a constellation, resolution typically involves acknowledging the excluded or forgotten person, giving them their rightful place in the family system, and consciously separating: 'I take you into my heart, and I leave your fate with you. I will live my own life.'
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